Innocence Lost

“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families…” Psalm 68: 5-6

Joyce grew up in the quiet peacefulness of village life. She loved her parents and they loved her taking god care of her. She learned to cook traditional Acholi food from her mother. Her mother was known as a great cook and neighbors loved to come to their home to eat her delicious food. When the whole village gathered she learned to dance their traditional dances. Her childhood was filled with love, laughter and joy. Her mother and father loved each other and she hoped to have a marriage as strong and loving as theirs someday.

One of her chores was to fetch water from the nearby well. It was a physically demanding task, but one she loved because the cutest boy she had ever seen was always on the road at the same time. To her great delight, he spoke to her and over time struck up a friendship with her. Quickly, Paul became her best friend and her heart would skip a best every time she saw him coming toward her. She found herself laughing at all his jokes and blushing every time he called her beautiful. Throughout secondary school, their childhood crush developed into true love. She truly loved him and he truly loved her.

One day she found her mother and father digging in the garden and decided to confess the love she had for Paul. Of course, her mother and father already knew how much her heart loved him. They had been watching them develop their friendship and love from afar all these years. Her mother and father liked Paul and his family and were willing to support their marriage to Joyce’s great delight. Joyce had found true love and it was breathtaking and filled her heart in a way she never had thought possible. She was sure that their life together would be full of love and joy just like her parents.

A few weeks before the wedding, her mother asked her to take a walk through their gardens. As they walked her mother told her all the things she liked about Paul and his family. Joyce was so delighted to hear her mother praise Paul and his family. She felt so proud that he had chosen her. Then as they reached the far end of their property, her mother stopped and turned to face her. “There is just one thing about Paul that causes me great worry…” her mother began. Joyce couldn’t believe her ears. How could there be anything about Paul that was less than honorable? She gave her mother a surprised and somewhat angry look. “He said that he wants to join the army and be a soldier. That could mean a lot of heartache for you. He could be gone for long periods of time. He could be killed in battle. The rebels are gaining strength and violence seems to be headed our way. Marrying him could be a very hard life, my dear.” Joyce was disgusted with her mother for even suggesting that Joyce was making a mistake in marrying him. She shouted at her mother telling her how wrong she was then ran off. “ How dare she say something like that? Didn’t she see how much they loved each other? How devoted Paul was to her? After all Paul wanted to provide for her…to build her a house and take care of their future children, so he had to have a good job. She decided that her mother was just being overprotective.”

Their wedding was so fun. She and Paul were so close. It seemed like they couldn’t get enough of each other. She knew she had made the right decision. He was the love of her life. She had never been with any other man but him. As his new wife, she was devoted to him. She organized their homestead, cooked food for their relatives and neighbors just like her mother had done, and encouraged his dreams. He trained hard to become a soldier in the Ugandan army and performed well in his duties. Then she became pregnant and they were both elated. Several months later she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Life was so good.

Then like a bad omen to come, the LRA rebels attacked a neighboring village a few months later. The fighting had now become intense and her husband was called to active duty. Every day he was gone she prayed for his safety…prayed he would come back to her healthy and whole. He came back when he could, but it was only for a day or two. Then came the day when he left and told her he may not be back for several months. He felt strongly that they had to fight these rebels. He had to protect her and his new daughter by beating this rebel army once and for all. She cried for days after he left. Her heart could barely stand the separation from him, but she had to be strong for their daughter.

In just a few short months, life became a terrifying game of hide and seek. The rebels came into her village on numerous occasions killing her neighbors. Each time she heard people screaming, she picked up her daughter and ran into the bush and hid until all seemed quiet again. Her nerves were raw and she missed Paul. She needed him; she needed his protection…his reassurance that they would live through this nightmare. Then one day tragedy came to her family. The rebels attacked her mother and father’s compound killing two of her brother’s and their wives. When the news reached her, she collapsed under the weight of the grief. When will this madness end?

Paul came back for the burial of her family members and she clung to him. She was devastated and terrified that she and her daughter could end up in the ground next to them. The stress of wondering whether you were next victim of rebel violence as well as trying to live this nightmare without her husband made her weak. Paul held her and comforted her. When he was with her, it took the edge off the intense pain she felt most of the time. But, he only stayed for few days and then left to rejoin his unit. It was unbearable to watch him leave. Joyce was now responsible for all of her brothers and sisters children. Now instead of taking care of herself and her daughter, she was taking care of 8 more children. How would she feed them? How would she keep them safe? How would she do this without Paul?

As the war dragged on, she learned to live without the love she had once swam in. Paul came home once or twice a year and only stayed for a couple days. When he was home, he was distant, never mean or rude, just mentally somewhere else. Still, Joyce prayed for the day when the war would be over and they could rebuild their lives and reclaim the love they once had. She still had childlike faith in God’s power to end the violence and to give her back all the years they had lost.

Several months later, tragedy struck again this time at Paul’s family compound. His parents had been slaughtered by rebel machetes. Joyce was there just minutes after it happened. It was horrific. She felt as if she might vomit and never stop, but she managed to pull their bodies to the side of the compound. Other family members began to prepare them for burial. The cries of grief seemed to never end…sometimes they were quiet cries…sometimes they were loud shrieks. Paul came back from the fighting to bury his parents and he seemed so heartbroken. He was so thin and the war had taken every emotion from his face. He seemed like the walking dead. Joyce tried to comfort him as he had comforted her, but he wouldn’t be comforted.

After his parent’s death, he refused to go back to his unit. He had had enough of war for one lifetime and he had been sick since he had arrived home. Joyce was glad he wasn’t going back. Finally, she would have her husband back. It would now be their love for each other that would bring him back emotionally. It was the first thing in years that felt right. Not too long after he arrived home, the army came looking for him. They accused him of deserting his post and put him in the local jail. Joyce went and pleaded with the commanding officer to please allow her husband to come home. She explained that he had been sick and she was caring for him. The commander told her to come back the next day for his decision.

She prayed that she would gain favor with him and that he would release Paul. War had stolen enough time, love and joy from them. It was time now to rebuild their lives. As she reached the army barracks where Paul was being held, the commander asked to see her. Their meeting was very brief. “You can take him home. He tested positive for HIV.” Suddenly, she felt dizzy…maybe she hadn’t heard him right. “What?” Joyce asked him again. “He has AIDS. He is of no use to us now. He is going to die.” Joyce felt like she couldn’t breathe. How could this be happening?

As she approached her husband’s cell, she saw him with new eyes. He was just skin draped on a skeleton. His eyes were red and he had terrible vomiting and diarrhea. Her mind couldn’t take it all in…my husband, the love of my life, has AIDS. But how? Slowly, her mind realized that the man she loved more than any other had slept with someone else. Due to the war, she had little emotional reserve and this pushed her over the edge. She started crying and couldn’t stop. Instead of taking him home, she ran to the clinic. While she cried they drew her blood and 20 minutes later told her that she too was HIV positive. At that point she collapsed. It was just all too much too bear. When she awoke, she went back home to the children, put on a brave face and cooked dinner. When they were all in bed, she prayed through intense sobs. She asked God why he had allowed this disease to enter her body. She kept telling God that she was innocent. ‘I have never slept with another man. I am faithful to my husband. I love you Jesus and worship you, so why, Lord, why?”

The next day, she returned to the barracks to see Paul. Her hands were shaking and she felt like she couldn’t breathe, still she knew she needed to talk to him. When she entered his cell, she found only a shell of the man she had once loved. He was dying and now she could really see it. She looked at him and felt such intense rage. He had cheated on her with another woman or maybe with many other women. He had betrayed her in the deepest place. She could barely look at him. Her heart now felt shattered into a million pieces. Yet, some part of her fractured heart still loved him. He had been her only love…her true love from childhood. How could she have been so stupid? How had she not known that he was sleeping with another? She stood silent before him staring at the ground. She thought for a long time before, she managed to say, “They say you have AIDS and that you are going to die.” Paul labored to nod his head. Then Joyce gathered her strength and said; “Now you have killed me too.” Paul looked up at her and then down at his hands. His lower lip quivered and his eyes filled with tears as he choked out, “I’m sorry…. so sorry.” At that Joyce turned and left him. She just couldn’t take him home, not yet.

It was only a few days later that a soldier arrived at her doorstep to tell her that Paul was dead. Even with the rage she felt toward him, she still wept bitterly. There was a time when they loved each other and that love was real and beautiful. Even though he had betrayed her and given her a deadly disease, she still missed him. He had always been her best friend. Those next few days were not easy. She buried her husband and her brother-in-law chased her away from her home. He had always wanted his brother’s property, so she left with nothing but the clothes on her back and the 9 children she was caring for.

“So, that is how I came to Kampala,” Joyce explained to me over tea one Monday afternoon. “I really loved my husband and I was so innocent,” she began to cry as she said, “now I am going to die. It is a daily constant reminder that my husband cheated on me. That he didn’t love me like I loved him.” Even 10 years after the death of her husband, Joyce is still reduced to sobs. I sat there stunned with tears in my eyes too. I rubbed her back as she said again, “AIDS is going to kill me.” My throat felt tight and tears were streaming down my face as I said, “yes, yes, it will.” I just couldn’t say anymore, so I sat there and held her.

Suddenly, she said, “But do you know who has never betrayed me, who has always loved me and kept me alive these last 10 years? It is God. When my husband died, I decided to become Jesus’ wife, to know him and love him and you know what? I am still alive, I have a place to shelter these children and most days I have food to eat. He has never left me or betrayed me.” I nodded my head as I rubbed her back. “For so many years, I have been so lonely. But now, God has given me your friendship and the love of your family. I asked God to give me a friend, someone who I could share my pain with and now God has given me…you. I just wanted you to know that you are a blessing to me and I love you.” I held her tight and cried with her. “I love you too. God has given you to me and I am so grateful.”

It was a tender honest moment between friends—no big words—no big theology…Just someone who was caught in a nightmare sharing about the God who rescued her.

Update on the widows: (www.dorcaswidows.org/)

This has been a hard week for us as a group. One of our members, Hellen Okello, died. She was a warm, compassionate lady who deeply loved her children. She left behind 6 children and 3 total orphans. Her 3 youngest children are finishing senior high school and the 3 orphans she was caring for are quite young. They are in nursery and Primary school. I sat with the family on Monday grieving with them and praying with them. We were able to give them some emergency money for the funeral. Many other widows from our group came to support this family.

The second hardship this week involves the land the widows are currently living on. That land was purchased by Qudaffi (spelling?) in order to build an Islamic University. Next Tuesday, President Musevini, is coming to put down the official boundary stones for the new university. Police came last week to put some boundary markers and were stoned by the local residents of that place. It was quite a fight, so I am sure more military and police will be there next week. Once the boundary stones are in place, the ladies as well as all other “squatters” must vacate the land ASAP. I have been praying like crazy for two things: 1) NO VIOLENCE & 2) for a land of our own!! I have looked at 5 pieces of land this week. I liked two of them, so now we are looking for documentation…land titles, proof of ownership, etc… Please pray. I have been very upset over this issue and I have no idea where ladies, like Joyce in the blog above, will go. It is a scary time for us, but one where God has to be big.

Emergency fund: I was able to help 2 women this week. Hellen’s family received money for burial and Joyce received money for medical treatment. This emergency fund truly does “fill the gap” for women who are desperate. Thank you so much to those of you who have donated! If you would like to donate to this fund either visit our website www.dorcaswidows.org/ or contact Lisa Tschetter at lisatschetter@comcast.net

Beaded Jewelry: This week the women filled two orders; which totaled 200 beaded necklaces from some recent visitors. We were able to pay 36 women for their work! It has been a reason for great celebration as these women want to work—they want to be able to care for their families. Some current American visitors in Uganda are putting in a new order this week, so God continues to provide business for these women! If you want to order necklaces, please contact Carol Daly Vogt at dalyvogt@hotmail.com

School Sponsorship: A new school term just began and through our sponsors we were able to send 13 children back to school! Many of those children had been at home as their mothers had no money to pay for school. When I tell these children that they now have a sponsor and will be able to attend school again, they jump up and down, smile, and hug me tight. I wish you all could be here to experience that kind of gratitude. If you are interested in sponsoring a child of one of our widows, please contact Lisa Tschetter at lisatschetter@comcast.net

What Do You Do Every Day?

I get asked this question often. Friends, family, followers of my blog want to know what my life in Uganda is really like. When do I get up? When do I go to bed? Do I have a schedule? How often do I see the widows? Is it a 9 to 5 thing? Do I have free time? Do I ever feel overwhelmed? Am I happy? Is it hard to move around the city? How do I find out if a widow is sick? What do I do about it if she is? Do I ever get tired of being here? Do I miss the US?

So, I thought I would break from my usual storytelling, to answer some of these questions. It is my hope that people see how simple and easy my life here really is. I’m not a superstar humanitarian. I’m not a holier than thou Christian. I’m certainly not “suffering for Jesus.” I’m just living life with people I have come to know and love while I try to follow the teachings of Jesus. My life is really that simple. I kept a diary of sorts last week. Every day, I tried to keep track of what I did or how I felt. Read the whole week at once if you want or read it a day at a time. I just thought some of you might be interested in what living here and loving the widows is like. Enjoy!

Monday:
I woke up late today, not for any particular reason other than my bed just felt so comfortable. At about 9:30 am, I finally put the kettle on the stove to heat some water for tea. I ate breakfast, took my daily anti-Malaria medication, showered and then left the house by 10:45. Transportation here is incredibly convenient. I picked up a taxi (small bus) right outside my door and was in town 20 minutes later. After getting out of the taxi, I walked 10 minutes to the Cornerstone office. Every Monday, the Cornerstone staff meets for a couple of hours to sing worship songs, study the Bible and report how the current programs/ministries are going. This Monday, Pastoore shared several scriptures about the peace of God. He asked us the think about how we can be peacemakers in our every day lives and in our ministries. I was thinking that peace can’t exist without love. Somehow we have to accept and practice God’s love before we can experience true peace. I let that thought linger in my mind for a while. Near the end of the meeting, Joyce (a widow who works at Cornerstone—my partner in ministry) and I shared about what was happening with Dorcas Widows. We were excited to report that a giant order for beaded necklaces had just come in and that two of the ladies had found employment in the last two weeks.

After the meeting was over, I had lunch with Joyce and Isaac. During lunch I received a call from Jane, an HIV positive widow currently being treated for TB. Her voice was weak. She told me she was sick. She had been vomiting all night and was shaking with fever. Her whole body ached. I asked her if anyone was there with her. She told me that Joyce Anywar, her best friend, was taking care of her. I told her that I would be praying for her and that I would come see her tomorrow. I then went with my friend Isaac to his office. Isaac had been visiting Cornerstone, but works with Shelter for Life. I jumped at the chance to use a fast wireless connection for FREE! I spent all afternoon working in his office returning email, writing up a current financial report and just having fun surfing the Internet. During the afternoon, my phone rang..it was Rosemary, another widow suffering from diabetes and caring for 19 children. Our ministry was able to find a place for one of the orphans to study in Lira free of charge, so I told her that I would come see her tomorrow to arrange things. When the office was closing, Isaac asked if I wanted to join him and his friends for some Cuban food in the city. I jumped at the chance…I just love spicy food and fun conversation. We laughed and talked until almost 10:00. Then he drove me home. I was tired so I went to bed.

Tuesday:

I woke up around 9am fully rested and still thinking about what a good time I had the night before. As I ate breakfast, I prayed for Jane. Jane has become such a good friend of mine that it is hard to accept how sick she is sometimes. I just kept asking God to heal her. My roommate was home, so I spent some time talking with her. I cleaned my room and organized my things for the day. Then I showered and left the house by 11:00. I took a different taxi bus to another part of town, so I could see Rosemary. She lives by the Nakawa market, one of the biggest open-air markets in Kampala. The conductor on the taxi bus was trying to overcharge people, so the taxi stopped while some passengers and the conductor argued with each other. Finally the passengers telephoned the police to report this thieving conductor. It wasn’t scary. I was never in danger, but I was annoyed. The conductor was blatantly trying to steal money from us and everybody knew it. The police never did come, but we staged a protest of sorts and finally the man backed down. Needless to say, I was late meeting Rosemary; but the great thing about being here is that time is somewhat relative. Being late is not a sign of disrespect, but something that just happens…you often can’t control it when it does.

As I approached Rosemary, she was smiling from ear to ear. We embraced each other and I proceeded to tell her about the naughty conductor. We both just laughed and shook our heads. Then we walked back into the “quarters,” a shantytown of shacks where many of the women live. White people there are very rare, so I felt every eye on me. I am never quite comfortable with that kind of attention, but I have learned to deal with it. I have learned that I never want to be famous. We greeted some of the other widows and then finally settled ourselves on a straw mat just outside her home. Her cousin Lucy had come to spend time with me as well. She sent one of her children to go get me a soda as lunch was cooking. We talked about the plan to move the orphan girl she was caring for to Lira, so she could stay in the Youth Core Home and go back to school. The girl was elated. Rosemary told me how hard feeding these children had become. She had taken in 6 more street children in the last year. She told me that she just couldn’t turn them away. In fact she has become known as the “mama” that will feed you if you have nothing. She told me that she waters down the soup and asks each kid to always leave something in the pot in case someone comes later. She is running her own soup kitchen for street children out of her 2 room run down concrete home. I listened and was amazed. “God’s given me the love for children, so what can I do?” she said. I gave her some money from our emergency fund, hoping that would help with feeding for a few days. We then ate lunch together and really talked about our lives. She told me that she was “the walking dead,” when Jesus found her. She began drinking heavily when her husband died just to numb the pain. But somehow in the midst of her deep grief Jesus found her. She stopped drinking and has been taking care of her own children and orphans ever since. I then told her about the deepest pain in my own life and how Jesus had come into it. How he had given me value and a purpose. Hours went by and it felt like just a few minutes. In the midst of our conversation, Jane’s brother called to say that she had been admitted into the hospital and was on an IV. She was very weak and needed prayer. Rosemary and I prayed for her asking God for a miracle of healing. Somehow when I pray with these women, I really believe that miracles are possible.

At about 4:00 I left Rosemary’s house and walked about 10 minutes to Logogo Baptist church to meet with the “Tuesday” group. The widows split their group into two, so that people had a choice of when and where to meet. These 15 ladies meet on Tuesdays from 5:00-7:00. We meet and roll paper beads together while we talk about our lives. Then we sing praises to Jesus and pray for each other. As the women came to the meeting one by one, I ran to each of them, hugged them and told them the great news—the group had received an order for 250 beaded necklaces! As each of the women heard the news, they screamed, laughed and began singing and dancing. It was a moment of spontaneous joy. It was so beautiful. Instead of sitting right away to make the beads, we decided to sing praise songs to Jesus in Luo while doing traditional Acholi dancing. It was so fun!!!! Just like a child I stood behind them and tried to move my body just like them. I laughed at how awkward I am sure I looked, but I was also just caught up in the joy of the moment. They loved watching me dance…I think because I am sure it looked funny, but also because we were celebrating God’s goodness together. It felt like heaven on earth…for a moment all that existed was joy, love and peace. It was an amazing, beautiful experience. We didn’t make any beads that night, but it was a party I will never forget.

As it got dark, we prayed with each other. Then set out into the night to catch a taxi bus for home. When I got home, I was still grinning with excitement. I made spaghetti for my roommate and I. We ate dinner while we watched our favorite Mexican soap opera, dubbed in English of course. It is one of those mindless things I love to do before I go to bed.

Wednesday:

I woke up at 7am to my phone ringing. I picked it up and mumbled a garbled hello. It was the American woman who had hired Lovincer. She told me that she hadn’t heard from Lovincer in a couple days and that she had not come into work. Shelia was worried about her. All of a sudden I was fully awake. “ Let me call her and then I will call you back.” I immediately called Lovincer. It rang several times before I heard her frail voice pick up the phone. I greeted her and then asked her if she was okay. Lovincer’s voice was barely audible. She had been vomiting all night, was weak and had a high fever. “The devil is a liar. The devil is a liar,” she said several times. I asked her what he was lying about. She told me that she was being tormented by this feeling that she would now loose her job. I told her that the devil was in fact lying to her and that I had just spoken to Shelia. “Your job is secure, so let that worry leave you.” I then asked her if anyone was there taking care of her. She told me that her 15-year-old daughter was staying home from school to care for her. She had gone to the clinic the day before to get malaria treatment hoping that would help her get better. She told me that she was going to wait and see if the medicine would help her. I told her that I would pray for her healing and come to visit her soon. Being now fully awake, I ate breakfast, showered and got ready for the day.

I went into the Cornerstone Office to greet 5 people who had just arrived the night before from my home church. They have all been supporters of the Dorcas Widows Ministry, so I wanted to welcome them. I met with them for about 2 hours, explaining how our ministry operated and about the condition of the women themselves. They wanted to visit some of the ladies, so I called Ruth, the widow in charge of the Thursday group. She then set up some home visits for us to do the following day.

After meeting with the visitors, I called Jane to see how she was feeling. She could barely speak and was still being treated in the hospital. I tried my best to encourage her and to tell her how great God is, but truthfully, I am always a little scared when she is sick. I can feel the tears well up in my eyes. I am just scared that one day she won’t get better and she will die. It makes my stomach ache. She thought she would be released tomorrow, so I committed myself to seeing her the next day. I also called Lovincer later in the afternoon and she didn’t sound any better. These women had gotten so sick so fast.

I met a friend in town for dinner, as I just needed to talk about everything that was happening. I needed to vent my frustration at a disease that just won’t be tamed. At a situation that sometimes seems hopeless, even when good things happen…like the bead orders…it won’t stop AIDS from killing them. I do this often. I go out with my friends and just talk it all out. Sometimes I am hopeful in a God who can do anything. Sometimes I am so weary…so tired of the pain. Sometimes I am angry…not sure at what or who, but I’m angry. I just let those feelings come and when I need to I talk about it, I ask a friend to have dinner with me. It helps release some of it, so I can stay emotionally healthy. As I sat on the taxi bus heading toward home, I got a call from Jane’s best friend, Joyce. Thieves in the market had attacked Joyce and had stolen all of her money. She was shaken and so disappointed to have lost all her income. I tried to encourage her, but all I could say was, “Oh, Jesus.” I went straight to bed when I got home.

Thursday:

I got up late, as two neighborhood dogs had spent a better part of the night fighting, growling and generally making it impossible to sleep. I think I finally had breakfast at 10:30. I spent some time praying for Jane and Lovincer. I couldn’t stop thinking about them. I hoped that they would be better by the time I saw them. Before I left the house, Lovincer called and told me that she was still vomiting and feverish. I told her that she should go immediately to the hospital. She asked if I could find a vehicle to take her. I called several people, but couldn’t find anyone available to pick her up. By the time I called back, her daughter had already taken her to the road to pick a public taxi. I felt so awful that I couldn’t find a ride for her. I couldn’t even imagine how horrible she felt and how awful it would feel to be crammed inside a public taxi. I really felt terrible. I felt like a failure. Just one simple thing and I couldn’t do it. She had come to care for me when I was sick and now I couldn’t do the one thing she had asked from me.

I left the house and headed into town to meet the visitors. We left Cornerstone at about 2pm to visit some of the widows. We went to see Alice first. Complications with HIV have made Alice blind and virtually incapable of caring for herself. She now totally depends on relatives to take care of her. Her skin has sores developing all over her arms and legs. She used to be a primary school teacher, but now is confined to her home. The visitors spent time praying with her; which really encouraged her. Then we went to visit Helen. Helen is living in a condemned public bath house with 6 of her grandchildren and one of her daughters who is HIV positive. She sells greens in the market and makes beads to survive. She is one of the ladies benefiting from the sale of the beaded necklaces. She gave each of the visitors a bracelet as a welcoming gift. We prayed and blessed her asking Jesus to create a home, a real home for her. Then we went to Jane’s home. I walked so fast, I practically ran. When I got there, I didn’t wait for the visitors, I just entered and knelt beside Jane’s bed. Her friend Joyce was already there sleeping on the mat beside her bed. I reached out and held Jane’s hand. “How are you feeling?” She opened her eyes and said weakly, “ a little bit better. I have stopped vomiting and have no fever.” “God is going to heal you. He is.” I answered her. Then the visitors came and talked with her for a short time and then prayed for her. After the visitors left the house, I stayed for a few minutes longer just to hold her hand and tell her that I love her. Then I went to Joyce’s house where she told us how the thieves had attacked her. My eyes filled with tears…Joyce is my friend. It just hurts sometimes. We prayed for her and then left for the Widow’s meeting at St. Peter’s church.

As we approached the church, the women had gathered with their beads. I bought the latest order then was so excited to tell them that we had another order for 250 more beaded necklaces. The women began to stand and cheer. Just like on Tuesday night, they began to sing, dance and thank Jesus. All of a sudden, all the sorrow of the day had turned to laughter. God had brought a blessing. We spent the rest of our group time together singing, dancing and laughing. I thought of the verse that says, “The joy of the Lord is my strength.” I looked at these HIV positive women dancing…they looked so strong. I think it was the joy that made them look so powerful.

After a long day, I went home ate dinner and then called Lovincer. She had been at the hospital receiving treatment, but was now being released. I could hear the exhaustion in her voice. “I will come see you tomorrow. I do love you!” I said promising to come see her tomorrow. Then I went to bed.

Friday:

Again I got up late, one of these days I am going to have to admit that I am not a morning person. I spent a relaxing morning at home and then headed into town to meet the Joyce, my partner at Cornerstone. We both wanted to visit Lovincer together. After eating lunch, we took a boda (back of a motorcycle) to her home. Lovincer stays in a one room mud structure just big enough for a twin bed and one wooden bench. When we got to her home, she was asleep on the bed and all the children were home from school. They woke her up…I felt bad about that, but I knew she wanted to see us. We entered the little room and sat on the bench next to her bed. She told us that the vomiting had stopped and the fever had left her which was music to my ears. She sat up and we began to talk. When the children left the room, she said that they were too afraid to go to school for fear that she would die when they were gone. They had stayed up most of the night kneeling beside her bed praying for her. She asked if we could help talk to her children and assure them that she would be all right. We called the children and hugged them and did our level best to assure them that their mom was not going to die. I assured Lovincer again that her job was secure which I could tell greatly relieved her. Before we left, we prayed with her and called down healing for her. I am just so tired of sickness, but I never tire of watching God heal.

After leaving Lovincer’s we decided to visit one of Joyce’s friends who had recently given birth to a stillborn child. It took about 1 and a half hours to get to her place. We both had no idea that it would be so far out of town, but once we committed to go…we were going to go. When we finally did arrive, I am glad we were there. Joyce and I listened to the pain of loss of this wife and mother. Joyce loved her and shared her own experience of a stillborn birth with her. The feelings shared were honest, real and painful, but God’s comfort also seemed to be there. We prayed for her and played with her daughter. By the time we left, the woman felt loved, not yet through the pain, but loved. Then we traveled the long bus ride back. I was so exhausted when I came home. I ate dinner late, watched again my Mexican soap opera and then slept.


Saturday:

I love Saturdays. Everything seems relaxed on Saturdays. In the late morning, my roommate and I sat at the kitchen table and made a grocery list. Then we cooked lunch at home….rice and vegetables. Then we took the taxi into town. Capital Shoppers, a supermarket in the middle of town, has the best prices so we head there once a week to get all the staples….rice, cookies (for me cookies are a staple), meat, noodles, cleaning supplies. Then we shop for vegetables at the open air market. On our way home, neither one of us felt like cooking, so we picked up some take out. We came home, ate and then watched at movie on my computer. My best friend’s kids also had a birthday party in the States, so I called and joined the party by phone. It was so fun to be a part of the festivities from afar. After speaking to them I watched another movie on the computer and then went to bed. Ahhh Sabbath rest…..

Sunday:

I woke up fairly early, at least before 8:30 because I need desperately to do laundry. I quickly ate breakfast, then proceeded to fill up 3 basins with water. One I fill with detergent and the others I use to rinse the clothes. All washing is done by hand and I am happy to say that I have gotten really good at it. It only took about an hour to wash all my clothes and put them on the line to dry. Of course, every time I do wash it rains…always! Today was no exception, so the clothes finished drying on the backs of the furniture in the house. Oh well!

After washing the clothes, I showered, got dressed and left to see Joyce and Jane. Instead of going to church, I just wanted to see how they were doing. When I got to Joyce’s house, we sat in the sitting room and had tea. She was overjoyed because the sponsor of 4 of her children had called her from the US. She felt so incredibly encouraged by her love and support. It has been so fun for me to watch these relationships develop between my American friends and my African friends. We talked about so many things. It is always easy with her. We are truly friends. As we were about to leave to visit Jane, Joyce pulled some papers out for me to look at. They were reports from the hospital. Her CD4 count was in the danger zone. It seemed the medicine was not controlling the HIV in her body. “What does this mean?” I asked. The doctor told her that her body was not responding to the drugs she was taking. He wanted her to go in for an expensive test so he could find out what was happening inside her to readjust her medicine. I knew she couldn’t afford the test, so I took some of the emergency money and gave it to her. “Go take the tests.” She just hugged me with tears in her eyes. As I hugged her, my eyes filled with tears too. I don’t want her to die…not for a long time.

Then we walked to Jane’s home. When I entered, she was eating lunch with her brother. I jumped up and down. “Wow, you look great!!” Her eyes were sparkling and she had enough strength to stand. She was smiling from ear to ear. I was so happy!! Then her brother served us food and we ate with them. I sat there for hours just talking and laughing. I always have so much fun with them. Finally, the sun began to go down, so I knew I should start heading home. Joyce walked me back through the market to the taxi stage. I hugged her goodbye and headed home.

When I reached home, I started to prepare dinner with my roommate. My parents called later and I got all the latest news from home. Of course, we watched our Mexican soap opera and then we went to bed.



Widows Update:

New web site: www.dorcaswidows.org/

A terrible flu is spreading through our widows community, so please be praying for our continued health. Both Jane and Lovincer are now well! Praise the Lord! My relationships with the women are deepening and I now really have true friends. This truly is a ministry of love relationships!

Emergency fund: I was able to help 3 women this week. Rosemary received some money to help feed the orphans she was caring for and both Jane and Joyce received money to help with medical costs. This emergency fund truly does “fill the gap” for women who are desperate. Thank you so much to those of you who have donated! If you would like to donate to this fund either visit our website www.dorcaswidows.org/ or contact Lisa Tschetter at lisatschetter@comcast.net

Beaded Jewelry: This week the women filled two orders; which totaled 500 beaded necklaces. We were able to pay 36 women for their work! It has been a reason for great celebration as these women want to work—they want to be able to care for their families. Some current American visitors in Uganda are putting in a new order this week, so God continues to provide business for these women! If you want to order necklaces, please contact Carol Daly Vogt at dalyvogt@hotmail.com

School Sponsorship: A new school term just began and through our sponsors we were able to send 13 children back to school! Many of those children had been at home as their mothers had no money to pay for school. When I tell these children that they now have a sponsor and will be able to attend school again, they jump up and down, smile, and hug me tight. I wish you all could be here to experience that kind of gratitude. If you are interested in sponsoring a child of one of our widows, please contact Lisa Tschetter at lisatschetter@comcast.net

Land & Housing: It is our hope to purchase 3 acres of land to build a widow’s community. On this land we want to build 30 homes where the ladies can live rent free in order to help them achieve self-sufficiency. We have already raised $20,000 to purchase the land and are now raising money to build the homes. We are still looking at properties and hope to finalize a purchase in the next couple of months. If you are interested in learning more about this project please contact Carol Daly Vogt at dalyvogt@hotmail.com or check out our website at www.dorcaswidows.org/