Saturday, October 17, 2009

Reasons To Rejoice

**I have BIG personal news to share. Make sure you read until the end!**

“Sing to God, sing praises to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds—his name is the Lord—and rejoice before him. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows is God in his holy dwelling.” Psalm 68:4,5

As Suzan, Annet and I sat in our weekly meeting this week, we marveled at how tenderly Jesus had shown himself to us in the last month. We had been swirling about with the widows in chaos…in death…in violence…in sickness, for a while it seemed like one problem led into another greater one with no real solutions in sight. In the last couple of months we reached the end of ourselves and could think of only one thing to do…to humble ourselves before the Lord of Peace and beg for him to help quiet our souls. Jesus told us he would give us peace, not as the world gives, but lasting eternal and internal peace. It is amazing how peaceful we felt this week amidst the storm that still rages around us. But, I assure you it is not blindness to the pain around us or numbness to the issues; instead it is a real stable sense of peace in the middle of the battle. In these next few stories I hope you see the peace…the encouragement…the reasons we have to rejoice in what God is doing.

On Thursday, widow Joyce Okwanga and I went to see Jane. She has been in and out of the hospital and is rarely without an IV these days. She has reached the 3rd stage of AIDS and now has resistant TB. She is now just bones draped with baggy skin. She labors to breathe through the tiny lung capacity she has left and shakes uncontrollably when she sits. It is exhausting for her to carry on a conversation. She doesn’t say many words now, it is just too hard to get them out…too much energy that she doesn’t have. As we entered her home, we found her lying on her bed laboring to breathe in and out. Her auntie stays with her now and feeds her when her stomach is settled enough to eat. Her auntie bathes her and cares for her like a mother would care for an infant. Our ministry pays school fees for her children as well as for all her medical treatment. We also buy the jewelry she has left in her home in order to keep feeding her. We are committed to supporting her until God takes her home. I smiled at her as I knelt beside her bed and hugged her bony frame. I told her that I loved her and had been praying for her. Joyce also greeted her and told her how much the other widows were praying for her. The last time I had visited her, I had anointed her head with oil and asked Jesus to invade her spirit and to encourage her from the inside out. Joyce and I encouraged her by telling her how much Jesus loves her and how much he longs to give her peace amidst all this pain. Her breathing suddenly changed…it became more rapid, I could tell she was trying to talk. We leaned toward her and listened to her quiet rasping voice. She said, “I am in pain all the time now, but God is telling me he is keeping me alive for a purpose. He still has a purpose for me.” She repeated the word purpose several times and then closed her eyes to catch her breath. As she spends every day lying in bed writhing in pain, she hears God telling her that she is special and created for a purpose…a purpose that even in her invalid state she can fulfill for the kingdom of God. She doesn’t sound as her body looks…her body is dying, but her spirit is alive. Joyce and I just sat in quiet awe of this beautiful soul whose body is decaying, but whose spirit is living with peace only Jesus can give.

That same Thursday, I also went to see Joyce Anywar. For the last few weeks, she has been sick with one complicating illness after another. Joyce is HIV positive, but religious about taking her ARV’s. She is known in our group as being “the strong one…the one who can persevere…the one who can make lemonade out of lemons.” Even though she is HIV positive, she has stayed fairly healthy over the last three years, so these recent sicknesses have shaken her usual confidence. After attending the burial of our fellow widow, Idah, last month she has been sick with one complicating illness after another. We have anointed her with oil and prayed with her in person and on the phone asking God to show his great healing power. We have helped her pay for treatment and gone to the doctor with her providing encouragement whenever we can. When I saw her on Thursday, she was feeling somewhat better, but so discouraged. She had missed working in the market for several days and was worried about supporting herself and her children. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, “What will happen to my grandchildren, Paul and Ester…and to Winnie…who will care for Winne…who but me will care for an HIV positive child?” I was quiet for a moment, then I held her and whispered in her ear…God is not weak…his hand is not too short to save you…to heal you. God is with you and because God is with you…we are with you. You are not alone. You are still living, so let’s ask God to show himself as the great healer and the great provider. She squeezed my hand and smiled at me. The dark cloud of worry was no longer settled in the lines of her face. A short time later, a woman from Seattle who had heard about the Drocas Widows Fund and read some about us on our web site, arrived in Uganda. She had come to visit another ministry she supports, but wanted to be sure to visit our widows. When I met her she told me she wanted to buy a 100-beaded purses. Immediately, I knew God was showing himself as the great provider. Joyce is the one who makes those purses and who needs the extra income. So in the middle of all the sickness and the worry, there again was Jesus…our peacemaker.

On Friday, Widow Ruth, Suzan, Annet and I went to see the orphans we had saved from Nakawa in their new respective Cornerstone homes. Barbara, the only girl of the family, age 16, had been selling herself to buy food and other materials for her brothers when Ruth found her and asked me to please help her find a way out. God opened an opportunity for her to go to the Cornerstone home for girls who were trying to escape prostitution. They had given her a new bed, new sheets, a footlocker, food, soap…everything she had been selling her body to get for her brothers. It was almost too wonderful for words…she laughed and jumped up and down. Barbara was overcome with emotion and so grateful for this new life. It was a beautiful thing to see. Then recently we saw her walking around Nakawa, where she had been previously living with her brothers. When we saw her we asked why she had come back. Barbara then told us that her oldest brother had called her back home saying he was sick. Annet and Ruth then did some asking around in the community, only to find the brother missed the money he was making off of selling her, so he tricked her into coming back forcing her to sell herself. At that point, we gave her transport money to return to the home and told her not to return to Nakawa. So, yesterday, Ruth, Annet, Suzan and I went to the Cornerstone house to see Barbara. When we entered the compound, she squealed with delight like a little girl seeing her mommy coming home from work. She hugged each of us and ushered us into the home. We sat with her and told her how proud we were of her…she had been learning tailoring and jewelry making.

Then Ruth asked her to come sit beside her. Ruth spoke so tenderly, so softly to her. She told Barbara how much we all loved her, how much worth she had as a daughter of Jesus, how we longed for the day when we will dance at her high school graduation…at her wedding. Ruth told her how much Jesus wanted to give her a husband that would treat her as a valued women…full of worth and virtue. Barbara just looked at her hands as tears formed in her eyes. Ruth tenderly continued to tell her that she is a new creation in Christ. That she is now safe here. That it is okay not to obey her brother. Ruth told her that she would take care of the older brother if he is sick, so there is no reason for her to come home ever again. Then she told Barbara to pray for her older brother…that his heart may be changed, that he may learn to see his own worth and value. Ruth told her again that she is safe…no one can enter this compound without permission. Barbara just looked so defeated…so small…so ashamed. Then Ruth reached out to her held her hand, smiled and told her again how worthy God had made her. We all then looked this vulnerable girl in the eye and told her how valuable she was to God and to us. We each held her and kissed her on the cheek. Suddenly, there it was…peace…it was in her eyes. She told us that she was not going back again and thanked us for helping her escape. She told us she wants to believe Jesus…to believe that she really can be worthy. The mentors then told us not to worry, they would keep praying with her…counseling her. Ruth smiled at her, called her daughter and then told her how proud she was to call her daughter…God’s two beloved women…a widow comforting an orphan. In the middle of all this ugliness, there was grace…there was love and then there was peace.

The storms of life will come and go, pain will invade our bodies and our spirit, suffering will rest on all of us at one time or another, but through it all Jesus will guard our souls with the warriors of peace, grace, love, hope and unreasonable joy.


BIG NEWS—Personal news—

I have been praying for quite some time about how to support myself as I do ministry here with the widows. Up to this point, I had been teaching in Minneapolis and then living off my savings while I am here. Starting in June, I took a year leave of absence from my job in Minneapolis to see if I could find a job here in Uganda. In only a few short weeks, I was interviewing at the International School of Uganda (google The International School of Uganda and check out the campus). Then at the end of September I was hired to work with students with special needs. So, I am now teaching full time and seeing the women after work and on weekends. This is a HUGE blessing for me as it allows me to live here full time and do the ministry I love. I have now purchased a car and it will be coming from Japan in mid-September. I am hopeful that I will find a place to live with Suzan by the first of December. (A HUGE THANK YOU to the Kabi’s for letting me live with them for these last 3 years. You really are my family here!) So, feel free to visit us here in Uganda…you definitely have a place to stay!

ANOTHER BIG NEWS-COOL GOD THING-personal-

In 2005 I went to Swaziland for the month of July. I went alone…well not exactly alone…it was my first trip with just Jesus and I. While I was in Swaziland, I volunteered my time each day at the government hospital in Mbabane, clearly a place of death and disease. There were 3 infants who had been abandoned shortly after I arrived in Swaziland and they were living in the hospital. I spent my days taking care of these precious little ones. I got especially close to one of the babies. I fed her, changed her, sang to her, cuddled her…my family all thought I might come home with a child. While I was at the hospital, I met an American couple, Claud and Mary. They were church planters there and had been working with a Swazi social worker to adopt a baby. So, often when I was in the hospital, they were there too caring for the baby they were waiting to take home and adopt. Then a week before I left, I felt this overwhelming sadness and despair at leaving “my baby” at the hospital. So, there I sat in the hospital holding her close and crying at the same time. Then I reached up took my tears and baptized this baby…claiming her for Jesus, as his special infant. Then I asked God to save her…to give her a home. In the next couple of days, I arrived in the hospital only to find out that one of the babies had died during the night. I ran into the hospital ward shaking…wondering…only to find out that the American couple’s baby had died. The next day, I was in town having dinner with some new friends when I felt a presence behind me…it was Claud. His face was tense and all he said was, “I need to talk to you right now.” My heart started to beat incredibly fast. I stood up and walked out into the parking lot with him. His wife Mary was there. He asked me if I heard what happened to their baby as their eyes welled up with tears. I nodded my head yes as I cried with them. Then Claud looked me straight in the eye and said, “Our social worker told us today that we have an opportunity to now adopt “your baby.” Is it okay with you?” I burst into tears and said, “yes” over and over again. God had answered my prayer! Well over the years, we have kept in touch by email. Imagine my surprise when two weeks ago I got an email from Claud saying that God had now called them to Uganda and that they would be in Kampala the following day. So, last week I had dinner with “my baby!”—actually she is 4 and a half now, beautiful, talkative, joyful, playful. I have cried off and on about it since I saw her last week. Only Claud, Mary and I know the pain, despair and filth we rescued her from. They introduced me as her “auntie.” I was overjoyed. God does beautiful things doesn’t he?