Wednesday, August 6, 2014

A Bend In The Road, But The Journey Continues…



The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor, He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”
~Isaiah 61: 1-3

I never thought I would sit down to write these words.  I thought I would be in Uganda for the rest of my life.  In fact, when Isaac and I got married, we both promised each other that we would live out our days in Uganda.  So, it came as quite a shock when The Lord began to whisper something different in our ears. 

About a year ago, my brother-in-law died and left my sister a widow.  After all these years serving and loving widows in Uganda, I now had someone who needed that same love and comfort in my own family.  It was at that time that The Lord began to move my heart back home….back to the US…back to the life I had left so many years ago.  Over the last year, Isaac and I have prayed, fasted and heard clearly from The Lord that it was time to move back to Minneapolis, but not back to the life I had left, but onward to a new part of the same journey. 

This past month, I had to tell the widows I was leaving.  It terrified me to tell them…I knew it would be emotional…difficult…even painful to say out loud what God had been whispering to me for months.  Before the weekly meeting, I met with Ruth, the group’s leader and my dearest friend, and with Joyce, another widow friend.  Sue, DWF in-country managing director, joined me.  So the four of us sat down all eyes were on me and I was fidgeting…turning my hands over and over again in my lap…my eyes were looking up…down…sideways…and I was breathing out long sighs.  Ruth then looked at me and said very calmly, “Daughter, just tell us whatever it is.”  So, as my voice shook, I told them that I would be leaving Uganda.  They were shocked at first and all they did was silently cry.  The room was so quiet.  Then Ruth said, “You have loved us so well.  We are so proud of you.  We thank you from the bottom of our hearts for the love you have showered on us forgotten widows.  It has given us new life and new purpose.  It is okay daughter we release you into God’s hand.”  How is it that Ruth always has the most profound and beautiful things to say even in the hardest moments? 

She then stood up and matter of factly said, “Okay, let’s go tell the others.”  I stood up but felt incredibly shaky.  My hands were trembling and I was trying to slowly breathe in and out.  It is never easy to tell people you love news they do not want to hear.  I followed them into the meeting and sat quietly in “my chair.”  During our meetings, I always sit in a chair facing the widows so I can smile at them and silently pray for them as they share.  When the worship songs ended, Ruth stood up and told them that I had something important to tell them.  Reluctantly, I stood up and walked close to where they were sitting.  I was shaking…I could feel my knees knocking and my muscles quivering.  Sue held me on one side and Ruth on the other.  I took a deep breath and began to speak. 

I told them how much I loved my sister and how sad she was.  I told them that God had told Isaac and I that it was time to leave Uganda.  As soon as I said it, most of the 60 women began to cry.  They wept, blew their noses and softly sobbed.  It broke my heart and I began to sob.  As I cried, I asked the Lord, “What do I say?  I can’t handle this.”  He then whispered to me, “Kari, you always leave the 99 to go after the one.”  So, through my sobs, I started to say over and over, “I have to leave the 99 to go after the one.  I have to leave the 99 to go after the one.” Ruth then intervened and said, “Our fellow widow is broken down.  She is sad, bitter and hopeless.  We must send her to that widow.”  Immediately, a memory of 7 years ago flooded my mind.  I saw the late Jane Adikni standing amongst the ladies and Rosemary saying, “Our fellow widow is in trouble.  She needs help.  Give all you can.”  That was the moment my ministry with the Dorcas Widows started and now it was the same way this part of the ministry was ending.

I couldn’t stand anymore, so I knelt on the ground Sue was still holding me as the rest of the DWF staff came to kneel beside me.  The women stood up and gathered around us and began to pray.  They prayed in many different languages…they jumped…they clapped their hands…they shouted.  Tears rolled down my cheeks as I realized they were not only praying for Isaac and I but for my sister.  They were beseeching The Lord to draw her close…to love her…to rescue her from the darkness.  They must have prayed like that for 20 minutes…the Lord’s brides telling their husband to go and love another fellow widow.  It was powerful…beautiful.  Then as Ruth closed in prayer, she commissioned me to follow God’s leading to Minneapolis and to love my sister as I have loved them.

A couple weeks later, the widows organized a party to show their love for me and to officially commission me as their missionary…as the one to leave their group to do ministry somewhere else in the world.  We all got dressed up in our beautiful African wear…most of them wearing the gomas DWF had given them a couple Christmases ago.  They were gorgeous. 

As we began the function, I was shocked to see so many other people there.  People from Cornerstone who had supported us as the ministry began 7 years ago, people from church who came to celebrate how far the ministry had come, as well as some of the sponsored children.  Somehow, you could see all 7 years in the faces of those people.  My heart nearly burst at realizing how far God had brought us.

Then one by one, these special invited guests came to the front to testify how God had used our little ministry to change the lives of people.  My own sponsored child, Barnabus, proudly stood in front telling everyone how much my help meant to him and how excited he was for his future.  I smiled and cried at the same time. 

As I went out to wash my hands for the meal, a girl came shyly up to me.  “Do you remember me?” she asked.  I took a sharp breath in and shook my head in disbelief.  It was Barbara, the girl we had rescued from the slum about 5 years ago.  Her brother had been prostituting her for money.  We had arranged for her to go to a group home for former child prostitutes and now she had graduated, was working and stood before me radiant.  I cried and held her.  She just whispered, “thank you, thank you Auntie.”  I held her and steadied my voice and said, “I am so proud of you.  You are so beautiful.  God is amazing, isn’t he?”

After we ate, we danced…and danced and danced.  We wanted to celebrate all that the Lord has done through this ministry.  DWF now provides full medical care for all women, we have now started two village banks and are working to improve the women’s businesses, we have sponsored over 50 children and have 2 full time social workers that provide emotional and spiritual counseling.  God has been so powerful…so magnificent…so loving towards these women.  All of their lives have been improved and changed as a result of a choice I made 7 years ago…I choice I made to love and to invite everyone I knew to love with me. 

At the end of the evening, I wanted to commission the widows to take the love they had received from The Lord and from DWF to others in Kampala. So, one by one I asked them to sit in a chair and remove their shoes.  I knelt in front of them and washed their dusty feet…for I am my father’s daughter…just as Jesus washed his disciples feet, I wanted to wash theirs for a servant does what his master does.  I looked them in the eye and said, “I love you and I am your servant.”  Then I anointed them with oil, put my mouth close to their ear and prayed a blessing over each one of them.  Some of the women just cried and shook their head taking the love in and letting it settle in their souls.  Others held me tight and prayed earnestly for me too.  Then I kissed each of them on the cheek.  It seemed like a perfect way to say goodbye. 

So, in a week’s time, I will leave Uganda.  I will leave the widows.  I will leave my job.  I will leave my home.  I will leave my friends.  I will leave my family.  Even as I write this, it doesn’t yet seem real.  After 7 years of making this country my home, I will leave to start a new part of the journey, but strangely not on a new path.  I am still following my savior and still loving widows.  It is a bend in the road, but not a new path.  I am just as committed to serving The Lord as I was 7 years ago and I am more in love with the widows than I was way back then.  My location will change, but my purpose will not.  For my purpose has always been to allow God to use my empathy to love others in need and I will continue to do that for as long as I live. 

If you want to know more about what has been happening with Dorcas Widows Fund in Uganda, please feel free to contact me.  I would love to come share with anyone, any group or any church that would like to hear the story of God’s great love for his women!  I will now be fully involved with Dorcas Widows Fund on the US side.