Love Is More Than a Pear

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3:16-18

Love. It is a mysterious, powerful emotion. There is an innate wildness to it, yet when enveloped in it one feels safe and protected. It is tender and at the same time strong enough to conquer all fear. It has the power to heal deep wounds as well as create them. If you have ever loved and lost, it is a pain you know all too well. With all its contradictions we spend all our lives yearning to love and be loved. It is as important to our survival as the air we breathe. In the deepest part of who we are, we know we were created to experience love in all its fullness.

My whole life I have been trying to understand how to experience love in all its fullness. I have read books about what love is, stories of great love and dreamed of what deep love might feel like. However, at some point love has to come out of that dreamy state and into our everyday lives. We can read all the beautiful words the poets have crafted about the powerful tenderness of love, but at some point we have to ask the question, “What does love look like in real life amidst all the errands we have to run, bills we have to pay and meetings we have to attend? ”

I went to Swaziland because I wanted to see the HIV/AIDS crisis up close and personal. I longed to meet those who were suffering from this disease, so that I could comfort them with the love of Jesus. In my own life, God had been showing his love for me in real and tangible ways and that same love wanted desperately to flow out to others. Love always seems on the move, as soon as you experience it; you want to give it to somebody else.

One day I walked to the corner market to buy some lunch as I had missed breakfast. I picked up a few pears, a loaf of bread, some cheese, a tub of butter and some juice. I was so hungry I couldn’t wait to get back to the house and cook up some grilled cheese. I walked down the red dusty road back to the house enjoying the African sunshine and the voices all around me speaking Saswati. It was a glorious day. It was at that point that a young boy approached me. His legs and arms looked like little toothpicks sticking out of tattered clothes. He was barefoot and dirty. He asked me very politely if I had any money so that he could buy some food. I looked into his pleading eyes and realized that this was the middle of the day. He couldn’t afford to go to school. I felt bad for him and reached into my grocery bag and gave him one pear. He thanked me and we parted ways.

It only took a few minutes for the weight of my grocery bags to send a shameful message to my heart. Suddenly, tears filled my eyes and I choked back sobs. I came here to love as God had loved me. Jesus had given up everything he had to love me. He had sacrificed his time, his resources even his own life to ensure that I knew in tangible ways that he loved me. He didn’t just love in words-- he loved in action. Now, God had given me an opportunity to love someone in the midst of my busy day in a tangible way. I saw that the boy was hungry and in great need and instead of giving him all the groceries that I had—I gave him one pear. I thought of my own hunger even though I am well fed and could of easily turned around and bought more food. I didn’t love that boy. I threw him the crumbs off my table. Jesus says that when we love the least of these we love him. My heart crumbled as I realized that I had given the one that saved me only what I didn’t want for myself. I had only loved myself and no one else. When I got back to the house, I collapsed on the ground and sobbed. I was so ashamed. I couldn’t even look at the food I had purchased.

Something I had read in the Bible came back to me. John, the apostle that Jesus loved, said “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:16-18) In the midst of that incredibly painful moment, I realized that love is denying my own needs, wants and desires for the needs, wants and desires of someone else. It is giving my time, my talents and my resources to someone that needs them. Love is giving more than a pear.

Just like the Velveteen Rabbit, we want love to change us and make us real. The rabbit wanted to live life to its fullest and experience love in its grandest form. The fairy told him that becoming real would pull out his whiskers, rub off his beautiful velveteen fur, and create tears in his seams. Love would change his appearance forever, but sacrificing himself would make the rabbit real. He would have love in its purest form and it would satisfy his deep yearning. I believe we are all like that rabbit. Learning to love as Jesus did will cost us. Some of our spots will have to be rubbed off and we might loose an eye, but in the midst of it all we will learn how to love and be loved. Love will no longer be a dreamy eyed state but a real everyday reality.

Love the one God puts in front of you and by all means--give them more than a pear.