Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Climbing Out Of The Pit


“Praise the Lord, O my soul; and forget not his benefits—who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” Psalm 103: 2-5

Have you ever woken up to find that you are deep inside a pit? Life has suddenly begun to collapse around you and it feels as if you might suffocate under the weight of it all. You can’t tell anymore whether it was the foolish choices you made or the foolish choices of others that dug the pit so deep. All you know is that you are in a dark, dank place with little hope of rescue. As if that is not enough, the pit seems to be filling with the heaviness of fear and despair. Everything you try to get yourself out only sinks you deeper. The air begins to feel scarce and panic becomes your closest friend. You begin to wonder if anyone will find you. Will any one care enough to come looking?

Rachel had fallen into a deep pit. Her husband died in 2000 of AIDS, leaving her HIV positive. Losing him was devastating, but equally as devastating was realizing that she was faithful to a man who slept with other women. How do you mourn someone and at the same time burn with rage?

When did he have time to have these affairs? I cooked dinner every night. I took care of our children. I listened to you as told me about the stresses of your day. I mourned with you when our last-born child died in infancy. We walked through this deep valley of grief together and emerged on the other side. Our marriage seemed strong and intimate, was it all an illusion? Why did he do it? Was I not enough? Am I not beautiful? Did he not love me? Was I a bad wife? Was I not a good lover? The questions came at her at lightening speed and tormented her day in and day out.

Each day she nursed her husband to his death and sometimes it took everything in her to care for him—to show compassion to him, to clean him, to listen to his cries. She felt guilty sometimes that she wanted him to suffer. He had broken their sacred bond and had brought death into the house. Finally, he breathed his last and even in her anger, her heart broke. She had loved him. He had been handsome. She remembered falling in love with him. How sweet that time was. She was his princess. Their love was sweet and intoxicating. What went wrong? She had gone from deliriously happy bride, to radiant mother, to ignored wife, to diseased widow. Her emotions swirled inside her like a tempest. They were unpredictable and all consuming. They drove her deep into a pit of fear and despair.

Deep in that pit with her were her two children and the only child of her dead sister. She couldn’t loose it completely; those children depended on her for food, school fees and a safe place to live. She went to the clinic and started the ARV drugs in hopes that she might live long enough to see these children through school. When she feels good she sells small vegetables at the market. She struggles to feed them everyday and to pay their school fees. Now she is being chased away from the one room shack that is her home. They city has condemned it and in doing so condemned her.

Ruth, Elizabeth and I went to visit Rachel. As I approached the wooden structure, she was sitting on a small stool staring off into the distance. When we caught her attention she welcomed us towards her. We sat outside her home in silence for a couple of minutes. Taking her hand in mine, I asked her how she was doing. That is all it took for the floodgates to open. She began to weep while I stroked her arm and her shoulders. We listened as Rachel told us about her pit. It seemed so deep and so dark, but we didn’t let go of her. The other widows gathered around her. She told us every detail. We saw the ugly face of fear. We heard the cries of despair and desperation. We sensed the wildness of rage. We listened and were not intimidated by these bullies of emotion. We held Rachel as she let out all that she was working so hard to keep locked inside of her. Then we prayed to the one who rescues us from even our deepest wounds.

The widows asked Jesus to come with his powerful weapon of love and surround Rachel. They asked him to wage war against her fear and desperation. They asked him to hold her in the palm of his hand. They asked him to reach down into her darkness and shine his great light. As they prayed a powerful sense of love and power filled that place. Rachel’s breathing calmed down and she seemed a little more at peace. We each looked at her and said over and over, “You are not alone. God will not leave you and we will not leave you.” She meekly said, “Thank you. I do love Jesus and I want to be free from this pain. Thank you for coming, I needed to know that God still cares about me.”

In that moment God’s great hand of rescue reached down into her pit and gave her hope in a way out. His light shone down breaking the blackest part of her darkness. She is not yet healed completely, but she is in a community of widows that will not abandon her into the pit. They will stand with her and remind her of God’s faithfulness and compassion. They will hold her when she cries and wage war against the evil forces of fear, despair and rage. Her healing has begun and slowly by slowly it will be completed. There will be a day when a crown will be placed on her head that shines with love and compassion.

Update on the widows:

I have now visited 65 widows and, yes, I do know them by name. I have become their adopted daughter and am called, “my baby,” on a number of occasions. They even gave me an Acholi name this week—Akello which means “bringer of good gifts.” I am a part of them and they are a part of me. It is a relationship that goes deep and one I am exceedingly grateful for. I love them. It breaks my heart to think about leaving them. In fact, I broke down crying with Joyce the widow the other day. She just held me and rubbed my back as I sunk into her shoulder. She just whispered, “Trust the Lord. God has a plan for you that is good. Don’t forget that. He will love you and he will bring you back to us. Let God have it.” Widows truly are God’s beloved wives.

I have compiled some statistics about their issues I thought you might find interesting. I have about 40 more needs assessments to go so it is not completed, but it should give you a sense of the group. 40% are HIV positive, 38% have TB, Malaria or other serious health problems, 83% are taking care of children that are not their own of those 65% are children of dead relatives, 75% have 5 or more children that they are responsible for and 21% have 10 or more children they are responsible for. It is staggering to take it all in and even more overwhelming to know that the people that are hurting are those that I love. Agnes came to the office the other day. She is HIV positive and just barely more than skin and bones. She told me that she had been awake all night with very painful ulcers, but she could not afford the medicine. So, she asked if I knew anyone who could buy her beaded necklaces, so she could get enough to buy the $12 medication. Needless to say, every woman in my family will now have a beautiful beaded necklace made by Agnes the widow. It is my hope to bring some of the necklaces back home and sell them so that people like Agnes can earn enough money to live and care for themselves.

I am meeting with the executive committee tomorrow about the 4 different possibilities of land. It is my hope a decision will be made within the week, but as always anything can happen. Then we will need to begin to raise money to build some small homes. We are getting close to our $15,000 goal, but are still short, so if you wish to help the widows please contact Lisatschetter@comcast.net

God is really doing some amazing things and it is beautiful to watch!

Update on my life:

Well, I only have 3 weeks left and when I am alone at night, I cry with such intensity I am not sure even how to handle it. My heart has fallen in love with these people and this place. An American friend who lives here told me on Saturday that I needed to develop an emotional exit plan, and I think she is right because denial is definitely not working. This has been the best time in my life. I am so alive. I am so happy and I am so content. How do you find your heart’s desire and then leave it? Leaving will surely be the biggest thing I trust God for so far. Please pray for me!!!!!!!!

I will be home August 16th and staying with my parents until Sept. 1st. (I have a renter in my house until then) I will be starting work the last week of August and somehow re-entering my life. I may choose to leave Sprint, so I will keep you posted if I get a new phone number. I want a phone that can send text messages to phones here in Uganda. Anyway, I love you all and see you soon!

Kari

Monday, July 16, 2007

From Death To Life


“When he heard this, Jesus said,” This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” John 11: 4

This year I set out on a journey to find Jesus. At first I wasn’t quite sure where to find him. There seemed to be a lot of churches and religious people who claimed to know him and I am sure many of them do, but being a deeply relational person, I wanted to know him deep inside my own soul. I wanted to sit with him alone in a secluded spot where we could focus only on each other and talk about intimate things. I wanted to understand how he could love me so deeply and forgive me so easily. I wanted to know why he loves the least and the left out among us. I wanted to get better at loving him. I wanted to know where he spends his time. I wanted to know what makes him smile and what makes him cry.

So, I left my comfortable place and went to the least among us to find him. Surprisingly, he was there-out in the open-easy to spot. There he was in all his glory sitting among the widows and the orphans. He looked at me as if to say, “Finally, what took you so long? I told you I can be found by anyone who looks for me. I am not hiding. Didn’t I say that I would be with the poor? Now let me show you my favorite thing to do.”

I spent time with Jesus this week learning about his “favorite thing to do” at the home of Rosemary the widow. Rosemary’s simple wooden 3-room structure is an unlikely place to meet the God of the universe, yet he’s there and he was full of life and laughter. He was with his bride. Just as he promised, he had become the husband to the widow. Like any loving wife, Rosemary leaned forward and began to tell me the story of how they met.

Rosemary is from Northern Uganda where war has been a part of daily life for the last twenty years. She knows what its like to run from stray bullets sheltering your children as best you can. She knows what its like to see your neighbors killed while you hide in terror. Life was so hard for so long that Rosemary became numb to it all. She drank alcohol and a lot of it just to help get through the day. Then came the final blow. Her husband fell sick—very sick, very fast. She knew this disease all too well. She had seen other neighbors die of slim’s disease. Finally, in 1998 her husband died of AIDS. Then shortly after her co wife died of AIDS. She didn’t need to get tested to know the truth of her grim situation, but she did. Sure enough she was HIV positive. This put a strain on her emotions that she just couldn’t bear. It drove her deep into depression and alcoholism. She then watched as her youngest two children wasted away from AIDS. She buried them and in some respects buried part of herself. She was barely coping, but she still had five children to feed.

One day she was riding on the back of a pick up truck taking her cassava to market, hoping to sell enough to feed her children, when the tire blew causing the truck to loose control. Her only thought was of her 5 children. She remembers screaming out, “God help my children.” When she regained consciousness she realized that she was laying on the roadside with blood running down her body. Her collarbone was broken and protruding through her skin. Her back was broken as well as several ribs, but she was alive. She was taken to the hospital where it took one year for her to heal. She tried to get word about her children, but was not successful. When she returned to Lira, she found them split up among several different homes of “good Samaritans.” She collected her children and made the decision to move out of the war zone. She moved everyone to Kampala, the capital city.

Upon arriving, life was extremely difficult for her. She did not have enough money to send her children to school or to feed them regularly. Her CD4 count was worsening and HIV was now turning to full-blown AIDS. She was just bones and skin. She spent the little money she had on alcohol just to numb the physical and emotional pain. The community she lived in rejected her and shamed her. She learned not to walk out in the open, but through the back passage ways and only at night. Many people in the community thought she was mentally disturbed and wouldn’t come near her.

One day she went to the clinic to get her CD4 count taken and they were not hopeful she would last another week. They told her to go home and prepare for death. Rosemary then lost all hope. That same week, she went to a prayer service to make peace with God before she died. At that prayer service she heard the pastor say that Jesus loved her and wanted to be in a relationship with her. She couldn’t believe it. No one wanted to talk to her or be with her. She was an emotional mess. She was an alcoholic. She was going to die. She was a bad mother. There was nothing about her that drew others to her, yet this pastor continued to tell her that Jesus wanted to love her. With nothing to lose she moved forward to the front of the church and asked the pastor to help her know Jesus. As she prayed she felt an enormous burden lift from her shoulders and a sense of health she hadn’t felt in years. She walked away from that church and for the first time in a long time she didn’t feel like drinking. She went straight home and told her children about this Jesus who wants to love widows and orphans.

The next day she went back to the clinic to get her CD4 count taken again. This time the nurse took it twice. “This is impossible,” she said. “What is impossible?” Rosemary asked. “Your CD4 count is normal.” The nurse then gave her an AIDS test where Rosemary tested negative. The clinic was so shaken by this bizarre result that they sent her to another clinic and then to the main hospital in Kampala. However the result never changed. From that point on she always tested HIV negative. It was then that Rosemary realized that God had healed her emotionally and physically. She was supposed to have been AIDS next victim. Now she was God’s great beauty.

Over the next few weeks, a new Rosemary was born. She gained her strength back and began to work hard at selling things in the market. She fed her children and they all gained weight. She even raised enough money to send her children to school. The community was shocked and had a hard time believing that this was the same woman who was only bones and skin a few months ago. She had been drunk all the time and close to death. How could someone go from certain death to life in such a short amount of time? Instead of walking the back alleyways, she walked down the main street and told anyone who would listen about Jesus-the one who loves deeply, forgives completely and heals absolutely. Then in her slum area, she raised enough money to build a small church where all the broken people could come and meet Jesus. She has also taken in 7 other orphans because she knows that Jesus loves orphans. She still leads this small congregation of once broken people with the savior she loves.

Today, Rosemary laughs as she tells the story of how Jesus found her, loved her and healed her. There is a deep intimate connection between her and Jesus. They are in love and it shows. It was then that Jesus looked at me and said, “I just love to bring the dead back to life. It is my favorite thing to do.” I looked at him and all I could see was his radiant glory.

Update on the widows:

I spent a very intense day with the widows. I visited about 10 widows and heard their stories. Each story is heartbreaking and the conditions in which their living is appalling. One woman I visited lives in a one-room shack with 6 children, yet she continues to tell me how much Jesus loves her and provides for her. It is hard to get my mind around that. Midway through our day, we stopped at Rosemary’s church where several of the widows were gathered including the Muslim widow who became a Christian after I talked to her about Jesus. This former Muslim widow had prepared food for me. She ran up to me, bear hugged me and kept calling me “mama.” Ruth explained that I was her spiritual mother and she wanted to bless me, so she collected money from all the widows to buy food. Then she cooked all day to make this feast of rice, greens, beef and potatoes. Then she sent people to buy me my now favorite drink here-Orange Fanta. It was a gift of epic proportions, especially since I know some of these widows celebrating with me have great trouble feeding their families. As I move through the community of widows now, I am greeted as “my daughter”, hugged and kissed. It is a feast of love every time I am there. I go to love them and they love me more. I also saw Jane Francis on the path. Jane has TB and AIDS. She is skin and bones. She was barely moving. I ran to her held her and asked where she was going. She said that she had just come from the clinic and that she has mucus in her lungs. They prescribed some medicine, but she had no money to buy it. I asked her how much it was. She said 5,000 shillings (about $3). I quickly reached into my purse and asked another widow standing near us to take her prescription and the money and go get it for her. Then we took her to her home to lie down and rest. Amidst all the stories of loss and disease, I find myself buying medicine for those who are dying and then having lunch in a church built on the healing of an AIDS infected widow. I am not sure how I am making it from morning to evening, but God is carrying me like he is carrying them. It is intense and I cry often, but God brings people back to life, so I have hope.


I loved meeting Rosemary. Her story moved me in ways I can’t even put into words, but one thing I know for sure is that I saw Jesus and I fell more in love with him than I thought possible. Rosemary is one of the widows whose house has been sold (she was renting) and will now have to leave that slum. She does not know where she will go as of yet. About 100 widows are being kicked out of their homes this fall. I first mentioned this in my blog and God has now begun to create a way to help these women. Many of you have graciously offered to help support buying a piece of land where they can live permanently. That plan is now quickly becoming a reality!

We are moving ahead on the land for relocation. I spoke with the widows this week about two possibilities. Things are moving and I just know that Jesus will provide a place for his beloved brides! As soon as I have a fixed amount for the land I will let you all know.

Thank you to those of you who have stepped forward to support this project financially. You are making an incredible investment into the Kingdom of God! All of the money will go directly to helping these widows. If you have not helped and would like to, please contact Lisa Tschetter at lisatschetterr@comcast.net She is handling everything for me in the US.

We are funding this project through Cornerstone Development in Uganda. Cornerstone has a greater ministry to widows country wide. They hope to create a Widows Center which will provide temporary living accommodations, food, training and economic opportunity for adults, and spiritual support. In the future, it is possible that the Center would offer schooling for children and medical assistance for the residents. The center will comprise of the dormitories, Dinning hall, main hall, chapel and kitchen. It is my hope that when we complete this project for the Dorcas Widows that we can help other widows throughout Uganda.

Update on my life:

I had a fantastic week last week. I was able visit my family’s sponsored children as well as my own and it was pure joy! The lives of these families have been transformed! They are now becoming more self-sufficient and it is beautiful to behold! I only have a month left here and I get so sad every time I think about it. How can I leave these ladies? I am so happy here and so alive. One thing is certain; I know I will be back.

Much love,
Kari

Friday, July 6, 2007

A Widow’s Desperation & God’s Intervention


“I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord.” Hosea 2: 19,20

Every girl longs to hear a man pledge his undying love to her. She longs to know that he wants to protect and provide for her as long as they both shall live. Somewhere deep down women long to be seen as someone’s beloved. They want to inspire their man to do pursue them with romantic gestures and to do great and mighty things to show the world that he loves her. Little girls dream of that day when the man they love notices them, pursues them and takes them to be their bride. As women, we grow up dreaming about what such a moment will feel like: How will we react? What will we be wearing? How will he ask us to be his radiant bride? It is an electric feeling full of wonder and anticipation. We dream of the day when we will commit our lives to each other; never to be alone again. Love is alive and creating its beauty inside of us.

So, what happens when suddenly the wife’s great love is taken from her? When death inserts its nasty claws into her love nest and snatches her husband, replacing her happiness and security with loneliness and despair. In an instant, she goes from being loved to being alone. Her status as cherished wife suddenly changes to neglected widow. The world crashes down around her and she longs for someone to rescue her from the pit she has fallen into. As she sits at the bottom of the pit crying for a savior; one suddenly appears. God sends his only son to find this widow and claim her as his beloved radiant bride. Jesus weds her and creates a beauty in her she has never known.

Ruth started her life as a radiant bride. Her husband paid her father 10 cows for her and their wedding was a celebration the whole village enjoyed. Her husband treated her with kindness, respect and tender compassion. Ruth had found a good man and she knew it. Life was good, secure and full of promise. Little did she know that life as she knew it would not last. Death came and took her husband in 2003. He died suddenly and without warning. She grieved and mourned his death. In fact she could not figure out how to stop crying. She cried all morning until midday, then she cried all afternoon and often throughout the night. She missed him. It was hard to imagine even one day without him by her side. She was heartbroken. In an instant she lost everything, her friend, her lover, her protector and her provider. How would she feed her five children? How would she pay their school fees?

In the darkest moment of despair, she reached out to her sisters but they told her to go home. They could not help her. They could barely feed their own family and could not support her. Then she reached out to her brother’s in law, but they told her that they had enough problems with their own families. Everyone she reached out to ignored her cries for help. She felt so betrayed and even worse she felt so completely alone. She became full of rage and bitterness. Soon this bitterness developed into a deep depression. She could not get out of bed. She could not stop crying. She could not leave her house. In this haze of despair, she decided to poison her children and then to poison herself.
Before executing her plan, she decided to go to the lunch hour prayer service near her home to make peace with God before she killed her family. As she entered the church, the pastor looked at her and nodded his head. She noticed him looking directly at her and nodding his head. It was odd, but she was so depressed it didn’t seem to matter. As the preacher stood, he pointed to her and said, “Mama, would you stand up?” With every ounce of energy, she stood. The pastor looked directly in her eyes and said, “Jesus loves you. He LOVES you. He sees you. He sees the trouble you are in and he will help you. He will provide for you and not leave you hungry. But, please mama do not do what you have planned to do.” Suddenly, Ruth fell to the ground and sobbed. She wondered how could God love her if he had taken her husband from her. She wondered how she would feed her children. She wondered how she would pay their school fees, but she went home and did not poison her children.

Then the pastor visited her in her home and began to share the scriptures with her. He told her that Jesus did love her and see her. He told her that Jesus weds himself to the widows and becomes their husband in order to meet their every need. In one last desperate attempt, The next morning she began to pray. She asked God to provide food for her children. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. She got up and opened her door. Her neighbor was standing there with her arms full of cooked food. Ruth was shocked and could barely speak. Her neighbor had been praying and God had told her to come feed the Widow Ruth. They ate for 3 days on that food and it nourished their bodies, but more importantly it began to heal the hurt and fear. Another day, another neighbor came with money saying that God had told him to give it to the Widow Ruth. Jesus was keeping his promise. When he vowed to be this widow’s husband. He vowed to take care of her needs, to protect her and to love her. Now daily he was doing just that.

For the last three years Ruth has lived with no income and Jesus has fed her children every day. One day last week, God told Ruth to go to the market to buy food, but she had no money. However, after three years of trusting her heavenly husband, she knew a good surprise was in store for her. She dressed and walked to the market where she waited for God to provide for her. A teenage boy approached her and asked how she was doing. His parents knew her and had asked him to go inquire about her needs. She told the boy that God had sent her to the market to get food, but that she was waiting for him to show her how to buy the food. The boy then gave her 20,000 Schillings (about $15) and told her to buy food for the week. His parents had been praying and sent the boy to find her. Day after day, month after month and year after year, God has been a faithful husband. He found her dirty, lonely and crushed in spirit and has now turned Ruth into a radiant, vibrant, beautiful woman.

As for Ruth, she told me yesterday that she is done with men, she is married now to Jesus and serves him alone. She told me, “Kari, that is what God can do. I bring all my problems to my God, to my husband, and he takes care of them. I am well loved, well protected and well provided for. It is only God who can do that. You just trust him and he will provide. He will love you better than anyone.” Sounds like a woman in love doesn’t it?

As a follower of Jesus, will you be a widow's husband? Will you love, honor and cherish her? Will you provide for her and protect her? One thing is sure, even if you won't--Jesus will.

Update on the Widows:

I am still visiting widows and it is still overwhelming. I am learning that God loves his widows and will do miraculous things to provide for them. He is a good husband! I hope you are as moved by Ruth’s story as I was. I love stories of rescue where love is displayed as the most beautiful part!

We are still working with the widows to get a good plan for the land written on paper. We will meet with them in the next two weeks to get something in writing so you can finally see what we have been doing here. Thank you so much to the many of you that have contributed to helping these widows! God is using it as another confirmation of his great love for his bride!

I think we can get land for about $13,000 but the dollar is steadily dropping in value, so I will let you know what the final price is when we get everything written down. Also, we will need to begin construction of simple homes for the widows after the land is purchased, which is why I put a new target of $15,000. That way some homes could be built with the excess money. Right now, I am estimating how much everything will cost, but as we get everything in writing it will become more fixed.

Thank you so much for your tender hearts for the poor!!

Update on my life:

I am so excited to leave on Monday for Rakai where I will visit my sponsored children. I couldn’t be more excited to see all the fabulous Rakai staff again and to connect with all those we love in that region. At this point Veronica is planning on traveling with me which will be so fun!! I am one lucky girl!

It has been incredibly rainy this week and a little chilly. Many here say that “it is winter today.” I think it feels good not to be roasting, but I understand that they are used to the heat. I am happy and healthy, but keep praying for me. I am sure that is what keeps me going!

Much love,
Kari

Monday, July 2, 2007

At Home With The Widows



“Sing to God, sing praise to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds—his name is the Lord—and rejoice before him. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.” Psalms 68: 4,5


It is an awkward thing when you see poverty and suffering up close and personal. It is one thing to see a malnourished child with flies hovering over his mouth on television, but quite another to bend down shake hands with him and to stare into his withdrawn eyes. Poverty and suffering from a distance are tolerable. It is easy to walk away from it and believe that things are not really as bad as they look on TV. However, it is quite another when the underweight snot nosed child stares up at you, clings to your skirt and asks you for your time and attention. Your heart starts to beat faster and you begin to sweat as you stand still and hold that child. Suddenly, the effects of poverty and suffering stare you right in the face daring you to do something about their presence. The moment intensifies and our first instinct is to run—to get away from the pain, but we follow a God who doesn’t run from suffering. In fact we serve a God who embraces it. A God who promises to turn our mourning into dancing and our grieving into shouts of joy. We serve a God who loves those malnourished orphans and suffering widows.

I was invited into God’s holy dwelling this week. Several widows invited me into their homes where I listened to their powerful stories of suffering and sat beside them as we prayed to the God that loves them. Have you ever known that you were in a holy place? Have you ever been somewhere and felt the very hairs on the back of your neck stand up? In those moments something deep within your spirit recognizes that the divine has now come close enough to touch. As I entered each widow’s home, I saw the evidence of poverty and I heard their painful stories of loss and to be honest there were times when I felt like it was too much to bear. How do you sit with a woman twice your age and hold her as she cries because she cannot feed her children every day. However, each time we began to pray the hairs on the back of my neck would stand at attention and I would know that God was in that place. I am yet to fully comprehend the ways of Jesus but I know now in a deep place that God dwells with the fatherless and the widows.

Slowly I walked up to a three room concrete home. Suddenly a woman showed up at the door with three little children clinging to her skirt. She smiled broadly, hugged me and welcomed me into her home. We sat in a small room where pictures of those who are no longer with her hang on the wall. They are visual reminders of her deep pain of loss. Joyce is an Acholi from Northern Uganda. She grew up in a war zone learning early how to run from the fighting and where the best places to hide were. One day, she heard the familiar sounds of bullets and soldiers, so she ran to hide. After the violence was over, she returned home to find her parents in a pool of their own blood. As a 15-year-old girl, she was terrified, but she pulled their bodies from the open space and began to prepare them for burial. After their death, she stayed with some of her relatives until she got married. One day soldiers killed her husband forcing her to leave the northern part of Uganda with her small daughter. Then just last year her only daughter was killed in a traffic accident in Kampala. As if that was not enough, her remaining siblings have all died due to war and AIDS, so she is now caring for 15 of her siblings children. I am not sure even how 15 children fit into those three rooms. As I was getting up to leave she grabbed my hands and began to cry, “I’m alone. Everyone in my family is dead and I am the only one remaining. Why? Why did I live?” I reached my arms around her and then I looked her in the eye and said, “I see you. I hear you. I see the pain on your face, but I don’t why God allows some to die while others live. Please know that I will not forget you and neither will the people who hear about you.” We prayed and asked God to intervene in her life and to provide for her children. God seemed to be crying with us. He was present. Then we talked about the new land that is coming and the people in America who have decided to support her and the other widows. Slowly a small bit of hope began to spread across her face.

Then Joyce asked me to visit her friend. Joyce told me that this woman was really suffering. I was still trying to take in the great sense of loss I felt from her, so I wasn’t sure what she meant by “a woman who is really suffering.” Her friend was also Acholi and had come south after soldiers killed her husband. Some of her children have now died and she is caring for 6 of her grandchildren. As we came to her dwelling, I suddenly understood Joyce’s concern. This elderly woman and her children were living in an old bathhouse. It is a small structure originally intended for people to use for bathing and it had fallen into disrepair, as it had not been used for many years. It smelled moldy and musty. It was very dark and dank inside and not fit for a goat let alone a woman and her six children. They have no furniture and lay on the floor to sleep. They have no outhouse so; they must use a neighbor’s. It has no house number as it is slated to be condemned. It was never intended to be used as a home. It was so difficult not to just break down and cry. I wanted to scream and get angry at the injustice of it all. How can this be happening? All I could do was hold her and begin to pray. There was more righteous anger in that room than just mine. The Holy Spirit seemed to be present and his righteous anger over this injustice seemed to dwarf my own. I felt that divine presence so clearly; I almost thought it might become visible.

I spent 7 hours going from house to house. Hearing one story of loss after another. Experiencing God’s presence as I prayed with each widow. I held poverty’s hand and looked suffering in the eye. I embraced them and was shocked to find the God of the universe there. It seems he dwells there.

God loves these women and he will not rest until his followers take notice and do something about it. Pray but do not forget to act. Over the last few weeks, some people from the United States have listened to God’s love for the widows and decided to take action. They have sent money for these widows to purchase a land of their own where they can build new homes for themselves. They have begun to partner with these women to meet their needs. They have decided to hold the hand of poverty and look into the eyes of the suffering. We are a new generation of Christ followers that know the beauty of embracing the poor. So, next time you see poverty whether from a distance or clinging to your skirt, stay there in that moment. Know them, pray for them and do something about it.

Update on the widows:

As you have just read I have started spending my time visiting each of the 100 widows. It is a large undertaking and emotionally exhausting, but my favorite time of the week. I can tell you that the needs are immense. Last week, I gave some money to help one of the widows clear up a vaginal infection and am happy to report that she is now on medication. Two of the widows I visited were shaking with fever as they had malaria. Both of them did receive treatment for it. I have now visited over 20 widows and each one told me that housing was there primary concern. They are not sure what will happen when they are kicked out of their homes (if you can call them that.) So, there only hope is you!! They have organized a representative committee of widows to work with a lawyer to find a good piece of land. They are currently looking at land. When they find a piece of land that they all agree on, they will want to purchase it. I am hopeful that it will be sometime in July. Simon Kabi is also helping these widows create a written plan and budget.

I think we have now raised about $4,500 but are hoping to raise $15,000. Right now an anonymous donor has offered a matching gift up to $5,000, so if you gave $100 the donor would also put in $100. This is a great time to give as it will double your efforts!! If you are interested in giving to this project please contact Lisa Tschetter at lisatschetter@comcast.net She will be glad to help you and to keep you updated! All donations are tax deductible.

Update on my life:

Well, I have now been here for 3 months and I couldn’t be happier! It is really starting to feel like home. Simon Kabi has been a great host and I have enjoyed having a friend from home here too. This city has started to feel less foreign and new and more like a comfortable place to live. I still have not explored everything here, but it is nice to know that I am now officially a Ugandan Muzungu. Even the staff at Cornerstone has begun to tell new visitors that I am a local not a visitor. “ Oh no, she is Ugandan.” I love when they say that!

This weekend I went to a wedding. The church service was quite similar except for the beautiful African wear, but the reception was quite different. First, the bride and groom entered then the groom’s tribal dances were done by a professional troop. They were fantastic. The best part was when the groom’s family joined in. Then began to 3 hour-long series of speeches. This part was just too much for me to bear, so I went out into the parking lot to talk with the others who had wandered outside. After the speeches, we all ate traditional Ugandan food and talked with one another. It lasted from 2pm to 8:30, so it was definitely an all day affair.

This week I will go to the Uganda Visa office to extend my visa, as it will run out before I leave in August. Please pray that this goes smoothly! I will be visiting more widows, teaching English with the boys at Kibuli, and working on some writing projects. The following week I will be in Rakai seeing all of my sponsored kids. I can’t wait!

I will leave you with one funny story—I went to a bank to change some of my dollars over to shillings. Often a painful experience as the dollar continues to drop in value every week. Anyway, I gave the teller my money and she gave me the shillings. Later that night I was at a grocery store. As I handed the clerk the money, she looked it over then pushed an alarm button. The manager and security came over to inspect the bill. I was starting to feel a bit nervous. Then they asked me where I got it and explained that it was a fake. I was so shocked! Anyway, all of my other money is fine, except for this 20,000 Schilling note, which is worth about $12. TIA!!!!!

Well, love to you all!

Kari

PS. I added more pictures to the widows and friends files. Check it out!