Monday, July 30, 2012

My Own Land of Milk and Honey

“And we know that I all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

In this last year, I have seen first hand God’s great goodness and it is sweeter than I could ever have imagined. God met me where I was and brought me to a place of quiet rest…my personal land of “milk and honey,” From the beginning I have loved these widows not as “projects” or the “clients” we serve, but as friends. Over the last 5 years we have been through some incredibly difficult times…painful times…deaths of those we love, loss of homes and stability, crushing sickness. All these things have happened to us and we have had to depend on Jesus and on each other for support. There were days when either of us wanted to quit…wanted to give in to the despair, but somehow we carried each other and have made it through the despair to view first hand God’s tender mercy. Maybe that is why I haven’t written anything in so long…I was just too exhausted from the pain of it all and it took all my energy just to keep going.

 In December of 2010, I got to a point where I just couldn’t take the lonliness any more. Sitting in suffering…even the suffering of others is lonely. It feels so isolating and frankly was just sucking me dry. Every day I would hear of another friend’s sickness, another friend not eating, another friend without house rent. It was just too much to take onto my own shoulders. So, I decided to spend some time in serious prayer. I cried and wailed before the Lord telling him that I was at the end of my emotional rope. I played my favorite Christian music as loud as I could take it and danced around the living room crying, kneeling, throwing my hands up in the air, laying on the ground…expressing physically all my emotion. I poured my heart out to Him asking him for a helper…for someone I could lean on…for someone I could love and that could love me.

 That next Sunday, a young woman from my church asked to talk to me privately. She told me that she had been praying that weekend and felt like God had a message for her to tell me. “God is sending your husband…The man is looking over your shoulder,” she said. All the hair on my arms stood up. How did this young woman know I was praying about that? Then a couple weeks later, one of the widows told me that she was praying for me too and had a message for me. The widow said, “You have to forgive the ones that have broken your heart or there won’t be room for the one God is giving you.” Then another widow said, “Yes, God told me that too. God is sending this man soon…you need to be ready.” I was stunned. Could it be that God really did care about my heart? Was God really in the business of creating romance?

 At the same time, a co-worker from the International School named Isaac was praying every night asking God to show him where to look for this woman that would love him…encourage him…comfort him. He continued to ask God to be with him in his lonliness and to reveal the one he had chosen for him. At the same time, elections were being held here in Uganda…things became quite unsettled and they canceled school or let school out early often. It was then that he began to ride home from work with me. The ride took over an hour most times, so we had a chance to talk about many different things…our interests, my ministry, our faith, our taste in music…He thought I was beautiful, but immediately thought that there was no way I would be interested in him. Slowly…God began to speak to Isaac’s heart…to tell him that I was the woman he had prepared for him. So, one night, Isaac got the courage to ask me if I would be interested in knowing him better. He was overjoyed to find out that I was interested in knowing him too. Some time later, Isaac stood in front of me telling me that he loved me…that he felt even a supernatural love for me…like it was from God himself. So we got engaged and started preparing for our wedding.

 It is funny when you have been praying about something for so long, it is hard to believe it has really happened. I woke up many mornings after we were engaged in total shock that the waiting was finally over. Isaac did too. We needed each other…we both needed the strength and tenderness the other had to offer. It renewed my strength and allowed me to see another side of God’s great love.

 Isaac is Rwandan, so we decided to also have an African traditional marriage on June 30th of this year. In this ceremony, a favorite aunt gives you away to your husband. So, I had Auntie Ruth, a widow friend of mine, give me away. It was powerful to listen to all 70 of the Dorcas Widows screaming and uualating behind me as one of them gave me in marriage to the one they had prayed for. It was incredibly powerful to be given in love….in marriage by the widows God had brought me to all those years ago. Another tradition in that ceremony is for the new husband to bring gifts for the bride’s family. Isaac knew I loved these widows, so he brought rice, sugar and soap for all 70 women!! He wanted to send the message that because he loved me he also loved them. Finally at the end of the function, dinner is served. This was special as well as the widows were the ones that cooked food for the 200 people who attended. I thought my heart would burst from joy!

 Then on Saturday, July 7th Isaac and I were married at our church in front of all our family, friends, church members and the widows. There were loud shouts of joy from all of those who came. It was also an intensely spiritual time as Isaac and I entered into a marriage covenant in front of everyone we know. What surprised me on that day was the great gift I received from the widows. They had collected Shillings from the group and then gone out to buy us a 47 piece dining set, silver ware, a pressure cooker and a tea set. When it came time for the gifts, the women asked for some traditional acholi music to be played then they came dancing up to the high table with all these gifts on their heads. I was so overwhelmed with emotion. I would never have expected such a lavish gift from these women. After getting back from our honeymoon, we both sat in front of these gifts and just cried. It was love…it was just love.

 My first time back to the widow’s group was a joyous one. We laughed and sang. Then the women gave me marriage advice one by one. I listened carefully and tried to hide all their words of wisdom in my heart. After all the pain and sadness it was such a relief to sit in joy for a while both for them and for me. It was a reminder that God does work together for good for those that love him.

  Important: My name has now changed to Kari Rwenzo. If you want to see pictures of these events visit my Facebook page.

1 comment:

Terry Timm said...

Kari,

I rejoice with you. Thanks for sharing this amazing story of God's faithfulness and the gift of love that He has given to you and Issac.

I learned of your story from Jeff Goins book, Wrecked. I have spent time in the Nakawa estates. My first visit was July 7, 2011 just days after the evictions - one of the most heartbreaking experiences of my life. We are serving with Pastor Luke Jaymin and the people of Nakawa Pentecostal Church helping with micro loans.

I will be praying for you and your ministry with the Dorcas Widows.


Grace and Peace,
Terry