Hope Deferred Makes The Heart Sick

Hope deferred makes the heart sick. The wise writer of this proverb had certainly experienced the pain of longing for something that forever seemed out of his reach. He must have intimately known the pain of hard work towards a goal that is never actualized. Dreaming of one day knowing the joy of experiencing what you hope for and then finally able to leave the deep disappointment of that intense longing behind you. The writer’s hope seemed fragile. One day his determination seemed all encompassing and the next day it seemed to flicker like an ember in a fire long gone out. It is in those times that the heart feels sick--weak—unworthy—depressed.

My Kenyan friend *Debora knows deeply the pain of longing and hoping for something that forever seems out of reach. I recently met her on the campus of Daystar University. She had come to help host my visit although she was no longer an active student. She longs to be educated and to use her knowledge to serve her people. It is a longing that resides deep in her soul. We spent the last few days together spending our time exchanging stories, laughing at my attempts to speak Swahili, and talking about the God we both love. (*Debora is in the picture on the right and is wearing a yellow shirt.)

Life has been difficult for Debora. Her father disowned the family while she was still quite young leaving her mother to care for her and her 3 siblings. Her father was an alcoholic and had no intention of caring for her or her siblings. It was a rejection that bruised her young heart.

Her mother sold local brew to others in the village to feed her children. This was not lucrative and Debora has been paying her own school fees since she has been six years old. She said that it was very hard, and by the end of her primary years she almost quit school altogether. It was just too much for a young girl. My mind could barely comprehend it all. I couldn’t even fathom myself as a six year old child working to earn enough money to put myself through school. Her only comment was that her deepest longing was to learn and become an accountant, so she spent her childhood working for her neighbors.

She scored very high marks on her primary school exam and was accepted to a nearby high school. It was an absolute thrill to begin to see her dream become a reality. However, she had no money to pay for her high school education, so in desperation she went to her father to beg for help. She told me that she spent days in prayer before approaching him and relied totally on God’s mercy, as that would be the only reason her father would help her. That desperate day she went to her father’s house and as only God can do, her father agreed to pay her tuition. It was a miracle she will remember for the rest of her life.

Mid-way through high school, her little brother died. It was a traumatic event for the whole family and pushed her father deeper into his depression and alcoholism. The help he was so miraculously providing ended soon after. To finish high school Debora worked at a local kiosk selling simple items and relied on her older sister for some assistance. By the grace of God and incredibly hard work, Debora finished high school. She scored well and longed to go to college and realize her dream of being an educated woman. Earning a college degree will give Debora a way out of poverty and give hope to her whole family. For her, college is the way out of poverty. It is her only chance.

In 2004, Debora applied to Daystar University and was accepted. Hope was alive again! A sponsor had come forward and offered to pay her tuition and her dream seemed so close she could almost touch it. She went to freshman orientation filled with renewed excitement. After this first blissful week, her sponsor told her that he could not pay her tuition. It was a devastating blow and she said that she cried for weeks. Then the next semester she applied for a loan from the government. They gave her a quarter of what she needed and she had to again go home and put her dream on hold.

Finally, the next semester she had been able to raise enough cash from friends to register for classes. She did not have enough money to pay rent or buy food for herself, so she took a night job in Nairobi an hour away from the campus. Sometimes she went to class all day and worked all night. It was exhausting, but it renewed her hope of achieving her dream. Sadly, all that work was not enough and at the end of the semester she was not able to pay her bill and again was sent home.

As if to add insult to injury, her mother contracted TB and needed constant care. Therefore the only family member working to care for Debora and her siblings was her oldest sister. She earned about $700 salary in which she pays rent, buys food for all of them, pays for the youngest brother to go to primary school and for the youngest sister to finish high school. Therefore this last semester, Debora did not even try to register again as she has no money and is barely surviving as it is.

Her heart is aching. She firmly told me that her only hope is a miracle of God. She has been meeting with the counselors at Daystar who are encouraging her with scriptures about God’s power and might. She is trying to hang on, but her heart just feels sick.

As I held her in my arms and prayed for her yesterday, I was reminded of God’s intense love for broken hearted people. The Psalmist reminds us that the Lord comes close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. As I called down God’s blessing on her life and pleaded for the Lord to raise up someone to alleviate her sick heart, tears welled up in my eyes as I felt her pain, her courage and the deep ache of a longing unfulfilled.

As we parted ways, she asked me to tell her story to whoever would listen. Hoping that God might raise up one person to meet her desperate need. Truly, hope deferred makes the heart sick, but hope restored helps us soar on wings like eagles. So who restores that hope? Are we waiting for God or is God waiting for us? If we are to be like Jesus should we not come close to the broken hearted? Should we not save those crushed in spirit? Be the very presence of God in their lives?

God is the great hope giver, but we are the ones who get to be God’s messengers of that great hope. Will you be that messenger? Will you give your resources so that Debora can know the God of hope?

If you want to help contact Stacy at Daystar University US home office at 952-928-2550 and ask to help sponsor Debora Akiso Omuyako, student number 05-0247

CPC Mission Stearing Team: Two of the students we are sponsoring are graduating this year, so if the budget allows us to pick new students, Please, please, please consider Debora. Also our two kids from Rakai are doing fantastic and will graduate next year. Dartiva is already planning on going back to Rakai this summer to do her community development internship with World Vision. She wants to use her degree to help other orphans and the poor in Uganda. It was so encouraging to hear all that God is doing!!
Daystar also just launched their HIV/AIDS policy. Students have been actively involved with I Choose Life, an AIDS awareness, prevention and after care group. Recently a group of students went into the slums of Nairobi to spend time with those infected with HIV. They handed out clothes, made food and ate with them and listened to their stories. It was moving to hear the students talk about how God had broken their heart for those with this disease.


I am leaving for Ogembo, a rural village in Western Kenya, in a couple of days. James built a school there for orphans and had a container of books shipped over for the school. I will be helping him catalog and organize the books. Please pray for James as his nephew, a 12 year old boy, died suddenly last week. It has been difficult for the family and they are still grieving this incredible loss. Please pray for me too as I enter into the loss of this boy with the family this week. I want to love and support them with the love of Jesus!

I may not be able to connect to the internet when I am out in Ogembo, so please be patient.

Much love,
Kari