Without Love I Am Nothing: A Grandfather’s Legacy

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.” I Corinthians 13: 1-3

I have been loved. My grandfather died on Tuesday and my heart sank into a melancholy state. I miss him. My thoughts are filled with memories of how my grandfather loved well. He loved his wife through a dark valley, he loved his children deeply from the heart, he loved his workers at Montgomery Ward by creating justice for them, and he loved his fellow soldiers by earning 3 bronze stars for bravery. He loved his mother and took care of her until she died. As his grandchild, He loved me completely and unconditionally. He believed that I was a beautiful unique creature worthy of honor and respect. He lived his life in service to those he loved, so this week we remember him and his great capacity to love.

In remembering his capacity for love, I am reminded of God’s great love for me. Without knowing it my grandpa showed me how God loves sacrificially and deeply from the heart. Stirring within me are also memories of my own attempts to love others. How will I carry on my grandfather’s great capacity for love?

Over the years love has grown slowly in my selfish heart. It’s not that I am a grinch with a cold heart. In fact, I am no more selfish than the average person. I love those that love me—my family, my friends, strangers that show me kindness. It is just that Jesus keeps asking me to love deeper, to love strangers who aren’t kind, to love those I can’t stand, to love those that are uncomfortable to be around. To continue my grandfather’s legacy in my life will be allowing Jesus to create a deeper capacity to love others including the least, the left out and the unlovely. Taking a journey of love like this one scares me. Can I do it? Will I do it?

This last winter, I was hurrying through my local grocery store. I was tired. I had more errands to run and I wanted to get home. With a strong single-minded focus I sped my cart up and down the aisles filling up the cart with all my favorite foods. I even started dreaming of how good that chicken terryaki was going to taste. Somehow, I always choose the slowest checkout line. Today was no exception. I started to grow impatient and literally began to try to use mental telepathy to speed up the process. It didn’t work. Finally, it was my turn. My items were scanned. I paid what was due and began to quickly bag my groceries. As I quickly put the items in the paper sacks, a quiet whisper spoke inside of me. “See that lady. She needs help. Pay for her groceries.” I tried to shake the thought out by shaking my head slightly, but as I did it I looked up I saw her. This woman was awkward, a little too loud and someone others might not approach. I looked down and kept packing the bags. I wanted to get home. I had things to do. I had to be at church in two hours. Still this same compassionate whisper came, “See that lady. She is my beloved. Buy her groceries.” It was harder to shake this time. As I looked up I heard the clerk explain that her credit card had been denied. She looked frantic all of sudden—embarrassed—a state of panic on her face. When I looked at her suddenly, I felt a deep compassion for her—a brotherly love. I stopped what I was doing, rushed over to her, put my hand on her shoulder and asked if I could buy them for her. She sheepishly said yes and begged for my address so she could repay me. I told her that would not be necessary as this was an act of love on her behalf. We held each other in the grocery store and there was real love there.

Slowly, God is chipping away the selfish parts of my heart and increasing my capacity to love. God is showing me that nothing I do is worth anything if there is no love behind it. The true beauty of my moment with that awkward woman was not the money spent on the groceries, but the love and compassion that was created in between us in that moment.

This Sunday I am leaving for Africa instead of attending my grandfather’s funeral. This was his request of me before he died. At the end of his life of loving others, he told me to go out and love those who need it. So in honor of you, Grandpa, and because I desperately want to continue your legacy of love, I am following the author of love into the heart of Africa.